The unfortunate case of Tiwa and Teebillz… At first, I had planned to go with the ‘curious case’ then I realized that there is nothing curious about what is going on between them as it as a transition that is as natural as it as it unfortunate.
Just like a case of two friends who were once tight or two people who were once close and now in a relationship gone sour, they would always want to point fingers at each other and put the blame on the other person even if it entails revealing secrets in the relationship just to prove and to show to everyone else who was right and who was wrong forgetting that a broken relationship takes two people. When your love goes bad, you’re so hurt that you need someone else to identify with you, support you and validate you… make you further believe that it really wasn’t your fault. After all, no one wants to take the blame for a good soup gone sour too soon.
The first mistake that was made in this relationship was engaging social media & the general public. Teebillz did that. You see when you go there, you cross a path that you can’t ever go back on and you expose things that you can’t take back (not in these days of technology). After all, these same instagram posts that ignited the fire were long deleted but the screenshots, impressions and implications still live on.
I didn’t get too much from Teebillz posts or his write-ups when they got out. Though some of it seemed like the truth, the few people that he mentioned stayed mum and no one, not one single person validated his words. So, I was left to go with my instincts based on other information gathered. He was depressed and suicidal and he was lashing out. He wanted her to feel a bit of the pain that he was feeling because for him, everything that he had revealed was his reality.
After all the accusations – witchcraftry, infidelity, insubmission and sheer wickedness, the nation was waiting to hear Tiwa Savage’s side of the story. Well, if the nation wasn’t waiting then I was waiting. After all, she couldn’t have seen all these posts and not speak up. She had to at least defend herself, not so? Many had begun to identify with Teebillz thereby bashing her and forming theories against her. Of course, she had to reply… It was paramount that she did to save her name and her career but what she finally gave us was far more than we bargained for. It was a 45-minute video, an exclusive where the usually private and almost quiet Tiwa was speaking and ‘literally’ telling all.
Can I say something at this juncture? For lack of better word, I am appalled at how this relationship was handled publicly (on both sides). Teebillz revealed some very sensitive information and Tiwa took the bait and revealed the rest. I was shocked at the fact that Tiwa opened up to the point of telling us the dialogues between Teebillz and his so-called ‘mistress’. I was shocked! At that point, it made me wonder if she was trying to clear her name, expose her marriage or open up to her fans.
If you really look at Tiwa’s account of the story; forgetting everything else and listening only to her words, you would hear her great defense… Tiwa didn’t think she had any fault in the breakup of her marriage because she felt she was the one person struggling to ‘put food on the table’ and basically holding her marriage up on every side. From this, we can see that the dynamics are always the same – when a woman is left to do the job of a man because her husband can’t afford to do it then, the positions are switched and she becomes a tad bit more controlling and judgemental (consciously or not) while the man becomes bitter, depressed, frustrated and mean. And a man who is going through these things will always want to vent his frustration on you. I mean, he can’t see you having fun, being happy or flying high when he is depressed. That might make him seem like he’s ‘jealous of his wife’s career’.
In my opinion, the big mistake that Tiwa made was sacking her husband from his one constant source of revenue at the time (managing her) and rendering him jobless. Her reason was solely the fact that he was not trustworthy – stealing money here/there… not his incompetence as a manager or anything else. That could be considered a drastic move…maybe not in a regular client/manager relationship but definitely in a husband/wife relationship. It doesn’t seem like she put those roles into consideration when she made that choice.
In that case, I think she could have hired someone to manage her finances/account and subtly transferred that power to him/her while still keeping her husband in a very comfortable position in her life. Career or no career; that marriage was doomed from that very moment! Clearly, every other complaint (depression, infidelity, debt, struggling to keep up appearances, vile moods, theft etc) that she made of him was still as a result of this one action. Any typical Nigerian man who had a job and had that job taken from him (by his wife who had the power to retain him) would naturally exhibit all of those especially when he had been used to the good life for so long. I’m not commending it but I’m saying that it should be expected.
As a wife who became a breadwinner, it was obvious (from her comments in the video) that Tiwa stopped seeing Teebillz as a husband. Instead, she began to see him as a spendthrift who wanted to live above his means and less-of-a-man who couldn’t provide for his family (consciously or unconsciously). At that moment, it would be so easy to pick out his flaws and shortcomings and be irritated by them. All of these are normal but what is unfortunate is the fact that neither of them knew better.
Who’s right and who’s wrong?
The case of Tiwa Savage and Teebillz is one that many can look into and learn so much from. It is not enough to take sides based on sentiments of gender or preference of personality. It is fairly obvious that the relationship fell apart because both parties did not and could not continue to play their adequate and assigned roles as is expected in any marriage.
Is Divorce the right step to take?
Too much water has already passed under the bridge, it would take a lot of strength and courage to go back to the same person who told everyone so much rubbish about your life and it would take a lot to build some semblance of trust in each of them. In their case, divorce is the easiest and safest option.
Finally, my last thought on this matter is the fact that a love/marriage gone wrong looks the same on anyone – Celebrity or average man. It is ugly, it is heart-wrenching, it is exhausting and it is truly unfortunate. However, I still believe that we have the power to change it all until that sudden, vague moment when we choose to give it all up.