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Fashion & Lifestyle

How To Know When To Wear Heels

HEELS
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High heels are NOT just for eveningwear. They work just as well with trousers, jeans, denim skirts, miniskirts, pyjamas. You need to be adventurous.

Any aspiring Imelda Marcos needs to consider multiple locations and situations in order to ensure maximum and successful heel-wearing pleasure.

 

The weather

Suede, satins, and pale colours are OUT if there is the slightest hint of rain. No rain protector is worth the risk of losing a shoe.

 

How deep is the carpet?

Dense shag pile = poor gripability. Heel height and width should vary accordingly.

 

Can you get from A to B? Taxi? Car? Designated driver?

Hitchhiking is out.

 

Hazards

Check for cobblestones, grass, grids, and grates. Also do you spy any toddling children? If there are stairs with no banister don’t even attempt it. When going up stairs you should travel on the balls of the feet, when going down, sidestep slowly.

 

Dress codes

Dress codes are only for people who don’t know what to wear or how to be chic. Remember: you can never be too glamorous or have too many heels. Every girl should have at least ten varieties of heels on hand at all times.

 

Tiny Tim

If your date is shorter than you in your highest heels, dump him immediately. Pointless. A pair of Manolos lasts a lifetime, and you shouldn’t compromise style for love.

 

No kittens allowed

Don’t let anyone, particularly not “him,” persuade you kitten heels are sexy. They equal chubby thighs and thick ankles, if truth be told. They are day shoes, they are practical, and they are a cop-out. Also, they are actually far more uncomfortable and quicker to cause pain to the lower back and arches than a proper pair of heels.

 

Know your realistic time limit

This can affect height and choice of style. Occasion and venue knowledge are essential for heel selection. For example, mules are good for dinner parties, but dancing requires straps of some sort.

 

 

Hitting the jackpot

A heel can make or break an outfit. High street becomes designer if dressed with good heels. Dress heels up and down.

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Dress to impress

Bondage stilettos and skyscraper spikes are OUT for first meeting of prospective in-laws or vicars.

 

Always have a taxi number on speed dial

When you look like a star, you don’t have to feel bad about keeping public transportation to a minimum. Let heels justify your cab fetish.

 

Know your weaknesses

If cobblestone sidewalks are your Achilles’ heel-walk in the road. If eight hours reduces you to tears, call it a day before this point.

 

Don’t drink and teeter unless you have someone in mind to carry you home

Alcohol and heel coordination is tricky. Bad combination.

 

A heel symbolises status and style

The thinner the heel, the higher the arch, the higher your status and situation. A Manolo Blahnik 10.5 spike heel, say crocodile, is the ultimate symbol of a lady-a vamp not a tramp, and should be approached with extreme caution.

 

Marilyn Monroe perfected the best wiggle in the business

How? She asked her cobbler to make one heel half an inch lower than the other so she’d always have a very exaggerated rear view. That’s way too much. A more practical approach is to ask your cobbler to shave a few millimetres off one rubber-tip heel, and not the other. A cobbler can add years to the life of your heels, so if you find a good one, tip generously. Leather toecaps and rubber heels are essential regular maintenance.

 

Care for your shoes

Manolo Blahnik says, “Always have them on shoe trees, and stuffed with tissue so they keep their shape.” You could also keep them safe in their boxes, and identify the contents with Polaroid stuck on the front.

 

A heel is worth the money

It is plastic surgery, therapy, and a glamour magnet all in one. Money very well spent.

 

Always give feet a day off

Tired feet may stop functioning altogether, and leave you unable to move. The only people who can stand in heels all day, every day, are mannequins, and they are plastic and have screw-off feet.

 

Culled from The Girl’s Guide to Everything


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