My parents gave birth to me out of wedlock in 1983. They were never married and never did get married. I was conceived as a result of a one-night stand.
My father had a reputation with women. He was sleek and good looking, but lacked self-control, which led him into a lot of trouble. Growing up, I saw these traits in myself. I remember one day when I went to see him, I was fourteen and he asked me who my babe was. I told him I had none and he said to me, “At your age I had already started doing things.”
At the time, he was experiencing a lot of trouble because he had spent a lot of his money on women. I made up my mind to marry as a virgin, to have sex with only my wife. I wanted to keep myself for what God was going to do through me.
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I wanted a deep relationship with Him. I didn’t want anything that was going to distract me, and I knew for me, women were a distraction. When I was about twenty, my dad called me and sat me down. He told me this is the best advice he would ever give me. He said, “You have to be careful with women. I was always with women and I still do women but I don’t want you to walk in my footsteps.”
My dad was sixty when he said this to me. Truth is, I was a lady’s man. There were so many temptations and near shades with women. It wasn’t easy, but God kept and helped me. I also had mentors like the late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya who guided me.
Today, I am married and I got married as a virgin in my thirties. Obeying God was very important for my wife and I and also our testimony to our children and generations to come. We decided to keep our marriage bed undefiled. It was tough, I won’t lie, but we did it.
I remember one of the things we said when we got married was, “We did it mehn, we did it!” This is to encourage someone out there who’s thinking it’s not cool to get married as a virgin, especially as a man. But the truth is, as a man it’s the coolest thing to ever do.
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